1.)I didn't decide. I just couldn't eat anymore, the stresses in my life made me sick to my stomach, gave me insecurities. I guess it built up over time, I didn't notice I had a problem until I was way under weight.

2.)Yes I was.

3.)I was already skinny. It had virtually nothing to do with my weight, although I'm the kind of person who has to be good at everything, so skinny was never skinny enough for me. I always wanted to be the skinn-IEST.

4.)I didn't realize what I was doing really...it just snowballed, I can't even really remember what started the whole eating disorder...many things.

5.)I went to a therapist but really the thing that helped me recover was when I fell down a flight of stairs at school because I was too weak to walk quickly with books on my back. I didn't want to die, I just wanted to be " the best" and so I gradually got help, through my doctor.

1. Why did you decide to become anorexic? Or did you just stop eating? I wanted to lose weight, and I've always been a perfectionist-had obsessive compulsive disorder as a child, so getting to average wasn't enough, I had to push myself to the limit and be the slimmest.

2. Were or are you aware of the deadliness of anorexia? I knew it was bad for you, but I didn't aim to have anorexia, I just wanted to loose a few pounds. I never knew it would be so addictive.

3. Did you start out overweight, or were you already skinny and thought you were fat? I was pretty much average for my age, but when I compared myself to my ballet friends I was bigger than them.

4. Were you aware of what you would be forced to endure or give up? I thought I was going to be healthier-I thought the less you ate and the more you exercised, the healthier you would be.

5. This question is for people that have survived it. How did you conquer it, what made you decide to eat? I never completely stopped eating, I would eat an apple for each meal, and exercise for hours and hours each day. I was in hospital for a bit with anorexia, and when I was released my parents forced me to eat (I wasn't allowed to go dancing unless I ate tea) so I developed bulimia. The second time I was admitted to hospital for EDs I figured I'd wasted enough of my life in hospital, but I wouldn't say I was completely recovered-I still watch what I eat and eat a lot less than most people, and I exercise a lot. Anorexia isn't the only thing in my life anymore though.

 

1. Why did you decide to become anorexic? Or did you just stop eating? I didn't "decide". As everyone's already said, no one "decides"!

2. Were or are you aware of the deadliness of anorexia? Of course I was...but you have to realize that, when you have anorexia, you don't think you do. I just thought I was taking care of my body.

3. Did you start out overweight, or were you already skinny and thought you were fat? I was an average girl, but I'd just hit puberty and was growing breasts, etc...which lead me to think I was fat.

4. Were you aware of what you would be forced to endure or give up? I really don't think you understand...an eating disorder isn't premeditated, you don't just wake up one morning and say, "Hey, I think I'm going to be anorexic." It's a long, slippery slide, and you don't realize what's happening while it's happening.

5. This question is for people that have survived it. How did you conquer it, what made you decide to eat? I had a friend...one day, she took my hand, stood me in front of her bedroom mirror, and told me to look at myself. And I did. And I realized what I was doing to myself. I've spent the last 4 years recovering. And it's still difficult, every day. Sometimes, I wake up and think, "Well, if I don't eat today..."...and I wonder if I always will. But I've learned to live with it and suppress those thoughts.